


Chicken

by tinyhakyeon



Category: VIXX
Genre: Gay Chicken, M/M, Short Chapters, canonverse, poor confused wonshik, set right after debut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-26
Updated: 2018-03-10
Packaged: 2019-03-24 05:49:54
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 9,333
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13804755
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tinyhakyeon/pseuds/tinyhakyeon
Summary: In which Jaehwan suggests they play a game of gay chicken, and things go quite awry for Hakyeon and Wonshik (and their poor, fragile hearts).





	1. Chapter 1

Hakyeon leaned against the back wall, staring at his own tired reflection in the large mirror. Everything had been moving so fast, that even just sitting down for a moment felt like a welcome break. Hakyeon couldn't believe that it was actually happening. He was finally going to debut. It was a bit bittersweet, losing friends through a brutal survival show, but he finally knew for certain which friends he would debuting with. It was just the kind of stability he needed to prepare him for the adventure ahead. Debuting had always seemed like such a far-off dream; it didn't feel real that it was actually happening right now.

With him in the dance practice room were Wonshik and Jaehwan, two of the friends he'd been most worried about whether or not they'd be joining him in debut. Of course, nothing had ever been certain, and Hakyeon had had his moments of doubt, but he knew that CEO liked him and clearly had his vision for him and Taekwoon from the start. Hakyeon had always had faith in Hongbin and Sanghyuk had worked so incredibly hard to earn his place in VIXX (plus, they needed a maknae, and Hakyeon was positive that CEO wanted Hongbin to be the cool, mature visual, not the maknae). Jaehwan had the most beautiful voice Hakyeon had ever heard, but he had always been slow to pick up dance moves, and Hakyeon had been terrified that CEO would let him go instead of having to worry about getting him extra help. Hakyeon had wanted so badly to debut with Jaehwan- through all his jokes, Jaehwan was one of the kindest guys Hakyeon had ever met, always keeping up a positive attitude when Hakyeon couldn't so the trainees wouldn't feel too down. No one knew how to light up a room like Jaehwan.

And then there was Wonshik.

Wonshik had caught his eye from the moment he'd first walked into Jellyfish Entertainment. Hakyeon had been meeting with CEO, talking about his goals, when in had walked a tall, handsome, slightly awkward boy who looked about his age. He had introduced himself as Kim Wonshik in a voice a bit deeper than his skinny frame would suggest and Hakyeon felt a small flutter in his stomach at that and at the way the boy smiled at him briefly. Needless to say, it had been difficult for Hakyeon to focus for the rest of his meeting.

Nothing compared to the moment that Hakyeon had discovered Wonshik was a dancer as well. Hakyeon's entire life revolved around dance, and everyone knew it. There had been no one to even come close to rivaling Hakyeon's abilities, but the first time Hakyeon had seen Wonshik dance, he knew he'd met his match. Hakyeon didn't feel competitive at all— his and Wonshik's styles were very clearly different— but he did feel a sudden heat pooling in his stomach at the sight of this (VERY ATTRACTIVE, his brain had supplied helpfully) boy moving so smoothly to the music playing out of the practice room speakers. It was from that moment on that he knew: if he debuted with Kim Wonshik, it was going to be hell.

A few weeks later, and Hakyeon realized that hell maybe wasn't exactly the perfect descriptor. Wonshik and he became friends quickly, a mutual interest in dance coupled with Hakyeon's chatty nature helping them to click right away. New friends were always welcome, and despite Hakyeon's immediate attraction, he knew he had enough self control to enjoy being friends with Wonshik, nothing else.

That was what he always told himself, anyway.

Jaehwan let out a long whine from where he laid sprawled out on the practice room floor.

"I'm tired..." he complained. From beside Hakyeon, Wonshik chuckled.

"You said you wanted to perfect this choreography before we debuted, right?" Hakyeon chastised, but his voice was still laced with an affectionate warmth. "That's why Wonshik and I are helping you. It's getting late, so we should probably head back to the dorm soon. Start rousting yourself back up!" Jaehwan let out a groan at that, flipping over onto his stomach. Wonshik chuckled again beside him and Hakyeon couldn't help his own grin. If truth be told, Hakyeon didn't really want to get up either. It was his responsibility to keep everyone on track, but he was so comfortable right where he was: slightly sore but muscles relieved from finally resting on the floor, cold flooring cooling his heated body down. It had been long enough since they'd stopped dancing that he wasn't sweating anymore, and despite all the stress, Hakyeon felt as content as he could possibly feel at that moment.

"Let's play a game!"

Hakyeon looked down incredulously at Jaehwan, who had propped his elbows up to lean his head in his hands. The boy was grinning from ear to ear and Hakyeon narrowed his eyes at him.

"Why?" was all he asked, because the exclamation had been so sudden, and it really was getting late...

Jaehwan shrugged. "Because it's fun! Come on, hyung. We've practiced a lot and we deserve to have a little fun during the precious downtime we have." Hakyeon let out a sigh. He was right. Plus, Hakyeon was always up for a little friendly competition.

"What kind of game did you have in mind?" Hakyeon prompted. Jaehwan suddenly got a wicked glint in his eye that scared Hakyeon a bit before saying, "Okay, so I've always wanted to try this game, but I feel like most of our members would refuse to play. You guys seem like the only ones who would take it seriously."

Ominous. But, Hakyeon was intrigued. "What's it called?"

"Gay chicken."

"Excuse me?" Hakyeon and Wonshik let their outburst out at the same time. The words had been in English, but they were two very understandable words, though Hakyeon wondered— and worried— why they would be put together.

"Okay, here's the premise," Jaehwan shifted to sit up, and Hakyeon took a deep breath, preparing himself for the explanation. "So, basically, two people play at a time, and the point is to get as close as you can to the other person without moving away. If you move away or back out first, you lose! The point is to see who is better at not reacting while having their personal space invaded or while being touched."

Hakyeon let out a shaky breath as quietly as he could. It was a simple enough game, but the implications of it were enough to set his nerves on edge. Sure, it was easy to get into your friends' personal space, if you were straight. He hadn't told anyone on the team yet that he...well, wasn't. It wouldn't be so difficult to compete with someone like Jaehwan, whom he had no feelings for, but just the thought of playing with Wonshik...

"Like this!" Jaehwan shifted closer to Hakyeon before he could even freak out properly about Wonshik. Jaehwan leaned in so that their foreheads were touching, and consequently, their noses. Hakyeon looked him straight in the eyes, daring him to come closer. To hell with it, Hakyeon was competitive, and he was ready to win. Jaehwan leaned in a bit farther. Hakyeon stayed still. Jaehwan rested a hand on the wall beside Hakyeon's head. Hakyeon raised an eyebrow as if to say "Bring it on."

"Just like that!" Jaehwan moved away and Hakyeon let out a breath he didn't even realize he'd been holding. His heart was beating wildly. It wasn't as if he had feelings for Jaehwan, but being that close to his friend and one of his members was weakening his resolve, even if he didn't show it. Out of the corner of his eye, Hakyeon noticed Wonshik shifting uncomfortably, and Hakyeon had to fight to swallow the lump in his throat as he knew what was coming next.

"Now you two try!"

Hakyeon locked eyes with Wonshik, whose eyes had gone wide. Hakyeon swallowed again. It was clear Wonshik was not going to make the first move, so Hakyeon crawled over so that he was sitting in front of Wonshik. Tentatively, he reached out and rested a hand on Wonshik's cheek. Already, Hakyeon could feel his own cheeks burning, but he hoped Wonshik would be too caught up in the competitiveness of the game to notice. After what felt like an eternity, Wonshik finally reached out his own hand and placed it on Hakyeon's shoulder. Next to them, Jaehwan snickered. _Hey, at least Wonshik was trying_ , he wanted to tell him, but he didn't think he could make a sound even if he tried. His mouth had gone dry as he calculated his next move. Hakyeon leaned forward all the way, taking Wonshik's face in his hands and touching their noses together. Go big or go home.

Immediately, Wonshik pulled away, leaning to the side as Hakyeon joined Jaehwan in his giggle fit at Wonshik's embarrassment.

"Hakyeon hyung one, Wonshikkie zero!" Jaehwan announced in a perfect imitation of a radio sports announcer and Hakyeon couldn't help his triumphant grin despite his racing heart and burning cheeks.

"Round two, go!"

Wonshik hadn't even recovered from his first loss before Jaehwan was moving him along. Hakyeon sputtered a bit at the suddenness, but he waited for Wonshik to make a move. Wonshik sat back up, looking Hakyeon dead in the eyes. The gaze was so intense and Hakyeon fought desperately not to look away. Wonshik leaned in slightly. Hakyeon followed suit.

Hakyeon didn't even have time to process what was happening before Wonshik shoved him to the floor, away from the wall. He let out his breath in a huff before realizing Wonshik was then straddling him on the floor. Hakyeon stared up with wide eyes, frozen. Then, Wonshik began to lean in. It was too much.

With an embarrassed noise, Hakyeon tilted his head to the side, avoiding Wonshik. Jaehwan laughed again. Hakyeon's hands had tightened into fists, and he finally let them relax once Wonshik got off of him. Hakyeon couldn't even imagine what shade of red his face was as he sat up. He cleared his throat, fighting to keep his voice even.

"It really is getting late, Jaehwan-ah, we should head back..."

"Aww, but hyung!" Jaehwan whined. "You two are at a tie! We need to do a tiebreaker!"

"It's too late for a tiebreaker!" Hakyeon said a bit too quickly, suddenly standing.

"Okay, then I have an idea." Jaehwan rose up to join him and Hakyeon could already feel his dread rising.

"Play it at the dorm! It'll be a fun challenge. I won't tell the other members about it unless you want me to. You want there to be a winner, don't you?"

Hakyeon considered running out of the room right then and there, leaving Jellyfish Entertainment and joining a different company. If he said no, it would be too suspicious. To Jaehwan and Wonshik, it was just a funny game. How would it look if Hakyeon refused to play?

"Of course," Hakyeon gave in, though he knew he would live to regret it. "Bring on the competition!"


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is pretty short but I hope you guys like the story so far ❤︎

Debuting was a dream.

It was a dream full of stress and nerves, but it was incredible.

Hakyeon had to fight not to cry when they'd gotten offstage after their very first performance of Superhero ever. Everything he had worked for was finally coming to fruition, and he couldn't be prouder of his teammates for living this dream with him. Through the stress, Hakyeon had almost forgotten about the game.

Almost.

Wonshik was the first to go for it again, to Hakyeon's surprise. The members had all been relaxing in the living room as they waited for Taekwoon to finish cooking ramen. Hakyeon, Wonshik, and Jaehwan were lounging on the couch while Hongbin and Sanghyuk were stretched out on the floor. Hakyeon felt a sudden hand rest on his thigh. He felt his heartbeat speed up considerably, but he didn't move under the touch. Jaehwan raised an eyebrow beside them, clearly noticing, but he launched back into whatever story he had been telling about a group he had bowed to at the music show.

Hakyeon gulped, then leaned his head on Wonshik's shoulder. Wonshik stiffened a bit at the contact, but no movement followed.

"Ew, get a room!" Sanghyuk joked from his position on the floor. Wonshik scrambled to get his hand off Hakyeon's leg and Hakyeon nearly snapped his neck from how fast he lifted it from Wonshik's shoulder. He had nearly forgotten that he and Wonshik weren't alone. They had to be more careful playing their game lest the other members get suspicious.

Hakyeon was saved from making an excuse to the maknae by Taekwoon calling out that dinner was ready.

He didn't make eye contact with Wonshik the rest of the night.

***

The second time, Hakyeon was the one to initiate, as clearly neither of them had won the last round. The members were practicing the choreography for Starlight that he had created. It wasn't a particularly difficult dance, but Hakyeon knew it was a perfect opportunity for him to get ahead in the game.

Hakyeon paused the music to go over a particular step, moving towards Wonshik to use him as an example. He gripped Wonshik by the hips and prepared to move him just the way he wanted the others to do it.

What he didn't expect was for Wonshik to rip himself out of Hakyeon's grasp. Hakyeon stumbled backwards and Wonshik froze for a moment before mumbling about having to use the bathroom and fleeing the room. An awkward silence filled the room as the members froze in confusion. Hakyeon finally let out a breath.

"I'll check on him," he sighed. "Run through the dance a couple more times, I'll be back soon."

With that, he left the others with a desperate hope that they wouldn't assume Wonshik's leaving was due to Hakyeon touching him. Why would they think that, anyway? Hakyeon was always touchy... _Maybe I should stop..._

Wonshik wasn't difficult to find, and Hakyeon spotted him right away, leaning over a sink in the studio bathroom. Wonshik looked up at Hakyeon though the mirror when he noticed him, letting out a sigh.

"Sorry, hyung," he mumbled. "You just caught me off guard." Wonshik turned to face Hakyeon, leaning against the sink.

"It's just...when we're in front of everyone...Hyung, I think we need to establish some rules."

Hakyeon had not been expecting that. He was expecting Wonshik to want to get out of the game as soon as possible. Was it a possibility that Wonshik didn't hate the game? Maybe he even...enjoyed...the...game?

Doubt still led Hakyeon to ask, "But I beat you this round, which means I won. Do you still really want to play?"

"Listen, hyung, I'm competitive too!" Wonshik said pointedly. "I know I can beat you, and then we can stop if you want."

Of course. Wonshik just wanted to win against him. He wasn't at all in the same position Hakyeon was. Hakyeon felt a little guilty that he was using this game as an excuse to touch his very attractive friend, but he reminded himself that it was Wonshik who wanted to play, and that's what made it okay.

"Okay, rules," Wonshik repeated, stepping closer to Hakyeon. "Nothing too obvious in front of the other members." He stepped closer again, backing Hakyeon up against the stall wall. "No talking about the game with anyone else unless they ask." Step. "The loser at the end of all of this has to buy the winner a gift." By this point, Wonshik had Hakyeon backed up all the way against the stall, looking him straight in the eyes. Hakyeon nodded quickly, head moving almost involuntary to the side to avoid Wonshik's gaze. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Wonshik smirk.

"Back to a tie," he gloated before leaving the bathroom.

The rules were easy enough, and even buying the gift for the winner at the end wouldn't be too much of a hassle.

But when would the game end?


	3. Chapter 3

They must not have been as subtle with the game as they thought, because Taekwoon was suddenly pulling Hakyeon into a practice room, saying only, “We have to talk." Those words in any context were enough to make anyone freak out, but Hakyeon managed to keep his cool as Taekwoon closed the door.

Taekwoon paused momentarily, most likely searching for the right words as he always did. It wasn't until after Taekwoon finally said, "I've noticed you and Wonshik have been acting weird lately," that Hakyeon went into panic mode.

A million worries rushed through Hakyeon's mind at once, but it all came down to the worry of what Taekwoon would think if he knew about Hakyeon. Hakyeon had never had any sort of conversation with any of the members that even touched on sexual orientation. He had no clue where any of them stood on the issue and that was why he hadn't confided in any of them. Taekwoon was special, too. Would Hakyeon's best friend be uncomfortable with him if he knew? The thought was beyond unbearable. If he could spend his whole career hiding this, he would.

"It doesn't take a genius to figure out that you're playing some weird game," Taekwoon continued when he'd apparently decided Hakyeon was taking too long to answer. Hakyeon felt himself relax a bit at this as Taekwoon continued, "Jaehwan's idea?" Hakyeon could only manage a nod through the lump in his throat and Taekwoon screwed up his face thoughtfully at that. The silence was suddenly suffocating as Hakyeon waited for whatever the point of this confrontation was.

After what seemed like an eternity, Taekwoon finally supplied, "You know, if you touch his butt, it'll really fluster him."

Hakyeon could have cried right there on the spot. The statement was spoken with such a straight face that Hakyeon wouldn't have believed it came from Taekwoon if he didn't know him so well. Hakyeon didn't know if he wanted to laugh or cry or do both, so he settled for a short breathy laugh to acknowledge the statement. Taekwoon raised an eyebrow.

"What? It's funny to mess with him," Taekwoon added as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. Hakyeon felt an overwhelming urge to hug his best friend right then and there, but he managed to hang onto a shred of self control.

"Thank you, Woonie," Hakyeon sighed as he finally found his voice again. "You had me worried there for a second." Taekwoon only shook his head quickly before rising and leaving the practice room without another word. A trickle of dread settled in his stomach as he thought about the inevitable conversation that he knew he'd have to have sometime soon. He pushed the thought away. It could wait for another day.

***

Hakyeon was ready to fall asleep.

The movie that the members were all watching while crowded around Hongbin’s laptop was pretty cringey, but Sanghyuk had insisted they all watch it for the actress he found pretty. He was lounging on the couch beside Wonshik again-- both of them deciding they didn't need to be that close to the awful movie-- but this time, he knew he was safe because of the rules they'd established.

Oh, how wrong he was.

The moment Hakyeon realized he wasn't safe was the moment Wonshik reached down and grabbed a blanket, spreading it over the two of them. Hakyeon sighed as he felt Wonshik's hand rest on his thigh again.

"Seriously? This again?" Hakyeon was grateful that the volume of Hongbin's portable speaker was loud enough to mask their conversation. Beside him, Wonshik shrugged.

"I'm being subtle. Besides, no one's even looking at us," Wonshik pointed out. Hakyeon let out a huff of air because Wonshik had a point. This was fine. Wonshik still gave Hakyeon butterflies in his stomach, but the hand on the thigh move was already way overdone so this would be easy to ignore.

Then Wonshik began to move his hand upwards. The movement of Wonshik's hand on his thigh was especially apparent through Hakyeon's loose sweatpants. Wonshik's moved his hand slowly up and down Hakyeon's thigh, each time moving more into his inner thigh. Hakyeon sucked in a breath, trying desperately to not show Wonshik how sensitive his thighs were. Wonshik must have caught on, because he moved his hand a bit faster and more confidently. But also more sloppily. Leading to a quite unexpected accident.

Hakyeon's brain short circuited as he felt Wonshik's hand rub over his crotch. It only took a moment for his consciousness to catch up, and he sprung off the couch with a yell. The members were staring at him but he didn't care, only glancing at Wonshik's mortified expression momentarily before turning tail and fleeing to his shared room.

As soon as Hakyeon had slammed the door shut and locked it, he leaned back against it heavily. His thoughts were rushing a million miles a minute, the biggest one screaming to him: "Wonshik's _hand_ was just on your _dick_!"

 _It was an accident. It was an accident._ He fought to remind himself. He'd let this game go way too far...and yet, he hadn't been able to bring himself to stop it. Even now, after what had just happened, the thought of stopping the game was unpleasant. Jesus, there was something wrong with him. If Wonshik knew...

There was a light knock at his door. Swallowing hard, Hakyeon unlocked it, opening it carefully. Wonshik was, predictably, standing on the other side, looking at him warily.

"Can I...come in, hyung?" Wonshik asked carefully and Hakyeon nodded wordlessly, stepping aside to allow Wonshik inside. Wonshik shut the door quietly.

"Hyung, I'm so sorry." The words began spilling out of Wonshik's mouth immediately. "I went too far. I didn't mean to touch you...there. I wasn't trying to be a pervert or anything so please don't think that! I'm sorry.”

"It's alright." Hakyeon fought to keep his voice curt despite his racing heart. "It was an accident. We can forget it happened and continue with the points we had before."

The words came out before Hakyeon could stop them. Why did he say that? It was obvious that it would be Wonshik's wish to stop playing the game, and yet here he was trying to force it to continue.

However, Wonshik let out a breath, looking almost...relieved?

"Okay, hyung," Wonshik agreed. "I'll be more careful next time." With an awkward nod, Wonshik left Hakyeon alone once more.

Hakyeon pinched the bridge of his nose, unable to separate his mixed emotions. At this point, he barely remembered who was winning the game. Hakyeon didn't have to search his soul for very long to know that this hadn't been about the game for a long time.

***

Hakyeon was drunk.

Well, tipsy might be a better word, but he never did have a very high alcohol tolerance.

Every other member had since gone to bed to sleep off their levels of alcohol consumption, leaving Hakyeon and Wonshik alone to finish the board game they'd all sort of been playing.

Hakyeon was giggling, rolling the dice and giggling again as they tumbled off the game board and into the rug.

"I can't... _see_ them when they roll into the rug like that!" Hakyeon slurred, half aware that he couldn't possibly be that drunk, but also fighting a mixture of exhaustion and deliriousness. He really should have gone to bed with the others, but Wonshik was still up and any opportunity to hang out with Wonshik was a great idea, in Hakyeon's alcohol-muddled brain.

Wonshik was a more quiet drunk at that moment, and Hakyeon vaguely wondered just how drunk his friend really was. Hakyeon reached out a hand to move his game piece when Wonshik suddenly grabbed his wrist. Unable to think or react quickly, Hakyeon simply stared at Wonshik's hand around his wrist. The contrast of their skin colors was nice. Also, Wonshik's hand was nice. Really nice. Really nice and veiny and manly and pretty attractive...

Before Hakyeon could contemplate his next move, Wonshik was shoving his shoulders and pushing Hakyeon to the floor. Hakyeon let out his breath in a rush, watching as Wonshik moved to put his hands on either side of Hakyeon's head, hovering above him. Everything seemed to be moving in slow motion but Wonshik's face was suddenly very clear above him and it sent a very clear message to both his heart and his groin. Hakyeon stayed frozen for what seemed like hours until he registered the obvious tightening in his jeans. The combination of that and Wonshik lowering himself down slightly finally broke Hakyeon out of his delirious state.

"Get off," Hakyeon breathed, needing Wonshik to be away from him that very moment before he felt something he shouldn't. When Wonshik didn't move, Hakyeon yelled out an urgent " _Get off!_ "

The sudden urgency in Hakyeon's voice must have startled Wonshik, and he rolled off immediately. Hakyeon didn't give Wonshik time to contemplate what was happening, immediately fleeing the scene again and locking himself in the bathroom.

This had gone far enough. He needed to tell Wonshik that they should stop the game before it messed him up any more than this.

Hakyeon squeezed his eyes shut and tried desperately to will away his hardness. An innocent crush was one thing, but it wouldn't do to have dirty thoughts about his own friend. But Wonshik leaning over him like that...

No, enough was enough. He would sleep this off and talk to Wonshik tomorrow. The game would stop there.


	4. Chapter 4

It turned out that there was no need for Hakyeon to tell Wonshik that they should stop the game, as Wonshik had apparently already decided to stop playing.

This also posed a problem because Wonshik hadn't so much as looked at Hakyeon in three whole days.

Hakyeon tried not to take it personally. Wonshik obviously needed his space. But three whole days of the silent treatment was really starting to get to him.

It was no surprise that Taekwoon was the first to notice again, pulling Hakyeon into a practice room one day after dance practice. There was something different about this time, though. A more serious air hung between them that gave Hakyeon a sudden sense of dread.

"I know you know what I'm talking about," was how Taekwoon began, sitting them both down in rolling chairs across from each other. "What's going on?"

"For someone who hates opening up, you sure love to make me talk about my problems all the time," Hakyeon retorted, not-so-subtly dodging the question. Taekwoon raised an eyebrow and Hakyeon sighed, looking down at his legs. He knew Taekwoon inside and out. Taekwoon always chose his words carefully, and he would never speak unless it was something worth saying. Clearly he was concerned for Hakyeon, but Hakyeon wasn't sure just how much he was ready to say.

"I don't know what you're referring to," Hakyeon mumbled, hoping for just enough clarification for him to decide what he should reveal. Taekwoon pursed his lips for a moment before responding, "Wonshik. You and he haven't spoken in days, and that's not like you to not talk to someone." Hakyeon kept his eyes focused on his legs, absentmindedly running his fingers up and down the denim stretched across his thighs.

"The game..." Hakyeon knew his voice was nearly unintelligible, but he still hadn't decided what excuse he was going to make. What was the real reason he was upset? It wasn't about the game. It wasn't even completely about Wonshik either, although Wonshik was a part of it.

"Between you and Wonshik?" Taekwoon asked, somehow understanding his mumbling. "What about it?"

"It's...no, it's not about the game. It's about Wonshik. But not really. I mean, Wonshik didn't do anything..." Hakyeon knew he was rambling, but he couldn't bring himself to voice any of his actual fears. Against his better judgement, he glanced up to make eye contact with Taekwoon. Taekwoon was staring at him intently and under his scrutiny, Hakyeon's resolve was quickly beginning to weaken. His mouth suddenly felt extremely dry from the confession that was bubbling up his throat. He licked his lips.

"Taekwoonie..."

"Tell me what's bothering you." Taekwoon's voice was genuine, his eyes full of worry. Hakyeon could feel his heart pounding erratically in his chest. He felt sick to his stomach. He couldn't say it. He couldn't. And yet, this was his best friend. This was his best friend that would love him no matter what. Hakyeon took a deep breath.

"I'm gay."

A long silence followed his words. Hakyeon had immediately dropped his gaze back to his legs at the confession, staring down at his shaking hands. He couldn't look at Taekwoon. He could only imagine the worst case scenario: disappointment or disgust or both.

"Hakyeon," came Taekwoon's quiet voice after what seemed like an eternity. Hakyeon sucked in a breath and held it there.

"It's okay."

Taekwoon rested the gentlest of hands on Hakyeon's knee, and that was all it took for Hakyeon to break down. His entire body wracked with sobs as it dawned on him that he had finally revealed his deepest secret to his best friend. His best friend didn't hate him for his secret. His best friend still loved him, and it was clear by the supportive hands on his shoulders as he cried that it was going to be okay. Things weren't perfect, of course, but he had confessed something he'd promised himself that he'd never confess ever. He didn't know where things would go from there, but it was a start.

***

Hakyeon stared at Hongbin, who was blocking the hallway in front of him with his arms crossed. He didn't look particularly threatening with the way his long, fluffy hair was styled in a large poof around his head, but there was a look in his eyes that set Hakyeon's nerves on edge.

"Hyung." Hongbin's voice was even. "I don't want to say anything out of line, but I know that you're better at fixing things. This needs to stop."

Hakyeon let out a deep sigh at that. Of course this must be affecting the members. It wasn't as if he didn't know that. It wasn't as easy as just snapping his fingers to fix his relationship with Wonshik. He wished it was, and wished for the power of memory-erasing while he was at it, but to no avail.

Without letting Hakyeon respond, Hongbin continued, "I tried to talk to Wonshik about it, because, you know, he's my friend. He won't even talk to me. He said something vaguely about a game but he didn't even want to talk about you at all. I don't know what's going on here but you'd better talk to him before I get really mad!" Hongbin ended his rant a bit lamely, but he gave a matter-of-fact nod as if he was very satisfied with what he'd just said. Hakyeon gave Hongbin a small smile that he knew must have looked too tired or sad to be genuine. He rested a light hand on his shoulder.

"Don't worry, Hongbin-ah," Hakyeon murmured. "I'll talk to him. I won't cause you guys any more trouble. I'll fix this. I promise."

Worry crossed Hongbin's expression, as if he was scared that he'd accidentally hurt his hyung with his words, but Hakyeon couldn't dwell on that now. Hongbin was right.

It was up to him to fix this.

***

Hakyeon took a deep breath, screwing his eyes shut. He could do this. It was just Wonshik, his friend Wonshik. This didn’t even have to end with any sort of mind blowing confession. As long as they reached some sort of agreement, their friendship could be salvaged and everything could go back to normal. _God, how did everything end up like this?_

Hakyeon knocked on the practice room door before he could change his mind, balling his hands into fists at his sides so they wouldn’t shake as badly. After a moment— one that seemed like nearly an hour in Hakyeon’s mind— Wonshik opened the door. Wonshik’s eyes widened slightly as they faced each other, but his expression quickly turned unreadable. Hakyeon swallowed thickly.

“Can I come in?” he managed to ask. A prickly feeling crept up Hakyeon’s spine at Wonshik’s hesitation. Wonshik eyes darted down, avoiding Hakyeon’s eye contact.

“Let me come in,” Hakyeon urged. Wonshik didn’t respond, but this time, he moved to the side slightly so Hakyeon could enter the practice rooms. Hakyeon thanked his lucky stars that Wonshik had chosen one of the larger practice rooms that day— he may have suffocated in one of the smaller rooms.

Hakyeon let out another long breath as he looked around the room, stalling. He wiped his clammy hands on his jeans just to give his hands something to do. Hakyeon finally settled for sitting down in the rolling chair next to the desk where Wonshik’s laptop sat. Wonshik hadn’t moved from his spot in the doorway, but he had at least turned to face Hakyeon. Hakyeon didn’t expect to get much out of Wonshik if he beat around the bush, so he decided to throw caution to the wind and ask directly.

“Why are you avoiding me?”

“I’m not avoiding you,” Wonshik countered immediately, too quick to be taken seriously, even if it hadn’t been extremely obvious that he had been avoiding Hakyeon for weeks. Hakyeon sighed.

“It doesn’t take a genius to know that something is wrong,” Hakyeon said dryly. “Come on. What’s up?”

“Nothing’s up.”

Hakyeon had to refrain from gripping Wonshik by the shoulders and shaking him harshly. Instead, he settled for saying calmly, “Look, I’m just as uncomfortable as you about this. But nothing will get solved if you don’t talk to me.” After a moment, he added, “Please. Talk to me.”

For the first time since he’d entered the room, Hakyeon saw the internal struggle in Wonshik’s eyes. There was something very wrong, but Hakyeon couldn’t even hazard a guess as to what it was. His own insecurities began to bubble up again, but he pushed them back down. This was about Wonshik. He could worry about himself later.

Hakyeon stood from the chair and crossed the room to Wonshik. He heard Wonshik suck in a quick breath as he placed his hand on Wonshik’s shoulder.

“This isn’t about the game anymore.” Hakyeon tried to make his voice as soothing as possible, holding Wonshik’s eye contact. “Talk to me.”

Wonshik shook his head firmly, dropping his eyes again. “I can’t.”

“Yes, you can!”

“Hyung, I really can’t.”

“Wonshik-ah, you’ve got to talk to me. I’m your friend and your hyung and I really care about you-“

Hakyeon was abruptly cut off by lips covering his lips. Wonshik’s lips covering his lips. In the heat of the moment, Wonshik had taken Hakyeon’s face in his hands and was kissing him. Nothing more than a press of lips on lips, but enough to leave Hakyeon reeling.

Before Hakyeon could fully react to— or even wrap his mind around— the situation, Wonshik was pulling away. They stared at each other, wide eyed, for a moment, Wonshik’s hands still holding Hakyeon’s face. Then, Wonshik was gone; dashing off in mortification before Hakyeon could say a word.

Hakyeon placed a hand on the wall to hold himself up, head dizzy and mind racing. His heart was beating a thousand times per minute. He was left breathless and shaking.

“Shit,” was all he could manage to say.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here it is: the smut chapter. the one that made me change the rating to explicit. enjoy ❤︎

Hakyeon had a lot to think about that night.

Why did Wonshik kiss him? What the hell was that all about? Was it possible that maybe, just maybe, he wasn’t alone…?

No. There was absolutely no way. Wonshik had often spoken of his old crushes as a teenager and his crushes on various idols. Never had one of those crushes been on anyone that wasn’t strictly female. It was silly for Hakyeon to have even entertained the thought…but, even so. A kiss. No matter which way Hakyeon looked at it, he just couldn’t get it to make sense.

Reasons aside, Hakyeon began to focus on the kiss itself instead. It hadn’t been more than a simple press of lips together, and yet it had shaken Hakyeon more than he had ever thought possible. It wasn’t even as if he had never been intimate with men before (he had many more secrets that he planned to guard forever), but Wonshik was different. A fling could be hot and passionate, but it was gone the next day. Wonshik was someone he had to interact with every single day for who knows how many years? Plus, Hakyeon admitted, he had been quite attracted to him from day one. Could it be possible that his feelings ran even deeper than he thought?

Hakyeon scanned the bedroom. Taekwoon and Hongbin were fast asleep on their mats, so he slowly rose to his feet and cautiously tip toed out of the room and towards the other room. He peeked in— sure enough, only two bodies. Hakyeon glanced at the clock: 2:21am. He did a quick run-through in his head as to where Wonshik could possibly be at this hour. His mind narrowed it down to the playground near their dorm, the place where Hakyeon often found himself sneaking out with a particular member at night when they felt that their insecurities were threatening to suffocate them. He had comforted many a friend and let them confide in him at that playground. Could Wonshik possibly be there? It was worth a shot.

Stepping into his sneakers and grabbing a light jacket, Hakyeon snuck out of the dorm, taking a lonely elevator ride down to the main level, and slipped out into the summer night.

When Hakyeon reached the playground, he was surprised to find it missing a Wonshik. A slight wave of panic rippled through his chest. Where the hell was Wonshik? He racked his brain for a moment before considering the practice rooms. Would it be worth taking a short taxi ride over to the studio? He’d come this far. Besides, he had to fix this as soon as possible.

Sighing, Hakyeon pulled his phone out of his pocket to call up a taxi. He could only pray that the manager wouldn’t happen to see his call log sometime in the future.

***

Despite it being nearly three am, Hakyeon had never felt more wide awake as he peeked his head into each practice room in search of Wonshik. He was feeling about ready to give up and go back to the dorm, until he suddenly heard the muffled but unmistakable sound of music. Dashing down the hallway, Hakyeon finally reached the dance studio. His eyes widened at the sight of Wonshik.

Wonshik was dancing to some American song that Hakyeon had definitely heard before but could never conjure up the name or the artist in a million years. He looked so fluid, music flowing through his body in a way that was incredibly sexy. A warm feeling began to settle in Hakyeon’s stomach at the sight and he had to take a deep breath. He could feel his face heating up considerably as he watched Wonshik body roll to the music.

Wonshik suddenly froze. Hakyeon’s heart nearly stopped as he realized that Wonshik must have spotted him peering through the door from the mirror’s reflection. Wonshik’s eyes were wide as he stared at him through the mirror, but after a moment, he scurried over to the sound system and paused the song. Wonshik’s heavy breathing echoed throughout the studio, the only sound breaking the unbearable silence. Hakyeon stepped into the room, sliding the door shut behind him.

Wonshik avoided conversation right away by taking a swig of water and Hakyeon forced himself to not look at the way his Adam’s apple was moving. Hakyeon took a deep breath for what must have been the hundredth time that week.

“Why aren’t you at home?” Hakyeon decided to skirt around the important conversation at first.

“I needed to practice,” Wonshik mumbled, fiddling with the knobs on the sound system.

“You didn’t,” Hakyeon disagreed calmly. Wonshik shrugged.

“Let’s talk, because we can’t avoid it any longer.” Hakyeon chose to change tactics. It was about three am and they needed to move past whatever the hell was going on between them or else they’d never be able to continue living normally. Wonshik shrugged again and Hakyeon gave a frustrated sigh.

“Wonshik, talk to me,” Hakyeon urged. When he was met with more silence, he added more forcefully, “Kim Wonshik, if you do not talk to me right now, I swear to god, you will regret it.”

“I don’t understand it!” Wonshik blurted out, and the anger in his voice took Hakyeon aback. “I don’t know what’s going on with me! I thought I was secure, in...in myself. In some ways. But ever since that stupid fucking game I’ve just been so damn confused.”

Hakyeon forced a swallow. He couldn’t breathe. Wonshik couldn’t possibly be implying what it sounded like he was implying, right? He was saved from responding when Wonshik continued.

“I don’t want to tell you this because I feel so dirty and...and confused but I need to get over it.” Wonshik ran his hands through his hair roughly. “I’m finding myself attracted to you and I don’t know why and I’m sorry if I’ve suddenly made you uncomfortable. But please believe me when I say I’ve been trying to get these thoughts out of my head!”

Hakyeon felt as if he’d gotten hit by a train at Wonshik’s confession. His head was spinning, even dizzier than when Wonshik had kissed him. This was...what, confirmation? Wonshik. Wonshik was upset. Hakyeon had to do something. He should comfort Wonshik, but he couldn’t stop his curious brain, and even more curious tongue from asking more.

“Attracted to me...physically? Or emotionally?”

“I don’t know!” Wonshik practically shouted, hands slamming down on the table in front of the speakers. “Both? God, I don’t know, I don’t know, I’m sorry...” Wonshik sunk down into the chair in front of the table, burying his head in his arms. Hakyeon stared at him, so fragile and vulnerable in that position after such an honest confession.

Hakyeon had an idea.

He picked Wonshik’s phone up and scrolled through his music. When he found a song that seemed to suit his idea, he set the phone down. A slow, sensual melody began to play from the speakers. Hakyeon had never heard the song before, but he soon began to feel its rhythm. He let it flow through his body, moving wherever he felt his body take him. Every once in a while, he let his eyes flicker back to Wonshik through the mirror. He wouldn’t be able to tamp his curiosity for long.

Sure enough, after just a few measures of music, Wonshik had raised his head and was watching Hakyeon through the mirror. Hakyeon began to roll his body just as sensually as the music suggested he should. He ran a hand slowly down the front of his body, stopping just before it became too erotic, and moved that hand up to circle above his head. This was a dance that was for Wonshik’s eyes and Wonshik’s eyes alone, and he hoped Wonshik could sense that. He made eye contact with Wonshik through the mirror several times during the dance, just in case it wasn’t clear.

Once the song finished, Hakyeon held his ending pose as Wonshik’s phone transitioned to another song— one just as sensual as the one before— but Hakyeon was done dancing. Instead, he straightened, moving towards Wonshik and standing right in front of him. He placed two fingers under Wonshik’s chin and raised his head to look at him.

“What does that make you want to do to me?” Hakyeon all but whispered. Wonshik was staring up at him, and Hakyeon didn’t miss the way his pupils were blown wide. He certainly couldn’t have missed the way that Wonshik was subtly not-so-subtly trying to cover up his crotch. Hakyeon repressed a smirk at that in spite of everything. Instead, he leaned over Wonshik until his lips were hovering just above Wonshik’s lips.

“Don’t be afraid,” Hakyeon breathed. “Don’t shy away from it. Tell me.”

Wonshik’s eyes were flicking up and down between Hakyeon’s eyes and his lips. “I...” he began, but the words seemed to die on his tongue. Wanting to give Wonshik a little more time to process everything, Hakyeon leaned back just slightly, hand still stretched over Wonshik’s shoulder and resting on the back of his chair.

“Do you want to kiss me?” Hakyeon asked bluntly. Wonshik’s eyes were wide and his mouth was left slightly open as he struggled to answer. In an attempt to help poor Wonshik out, Hakyeon revised his question to “Do you know what you want?”

Immediately, but with complete honesty, Wonshik answered, “No.”

That was when everything began to fully click in Hakyeon’s head. Wonshik was confused, but curious— probably had been for quite some time when they were playing that game. The realization sent a sudden jolt straight to his groin. He didn’t want to rush Wonshik into anything he wasn’t ready for, but...

Hakyeon rested a gentle hand against the back of Wonshik’s neck. “But you’re attracted to me?” he confirmed. Wonshik stiffened.

“Yes,” he said immediately, breathless. At that, Hakyeon leaned down, bringing Wonshik’s face closer to him and closed his eyes. He hovered right above Wonshik’s lips again and waited, letting his breath ghost over Wonshik’s lips. Hakyeon only had to wait for a moment before Wonshik was leaning up and tentatively pressing his lips to Hakyeon’s lips. Sighing contentedly, Hakyeon kissed Wonshik back, sliding a hand into Wonshik’s hair and gripping slightly. Wonshik’s lips parted right away, allowing Hakyeon’s tongue inside, which he obliged without hesitation. Hakyeon’s mind nagged him that maybe this wasn’t the best idea, but everything was a bit fuzzy and he was getting a bit more turned on than he had anticipated. They had been so busy lately that it had been quite impossible to get any sort of sexual frustrations out by themselves. Now here he was, and the fact that there was someone else involved was unimaginably sexy.

Hakyeon let a hand trail up Wonshik’s thigh. He moved Wonshik’s hands away from his crotch gently and let a hand slide lightly over Wonshik’s bulge through his sweatpants. Wonshik gasped lightly at that, pulling away from the kiss just slightly. Hakyeon felt his heart skip.

“Is this okay?” Hakyeon asked gently, terrified he’d gone too far.

“No, it’s...” Wonshik was breathing heavily. “This is very new for me. But don’t stop.” Hakyeon felt something indescribable settle in his lower stomach and he began to rub at Wonshik’s crotch slowly. Wonshik began to whimper, hands gripping tightly on the arms of the rolling chair he was seated in. This position wouldn’t do.

Hakyeon grabbed the front of Wonshik’s shirt and pulled him to a standing position, pushing the chair away and letting Wonshik lean back against the table. He pressed another searing kiss to Wonshik’s lips before making a snap decision and boldly sinking to his knees. Wonshik’s grip tightened on the table behind him at the sight. Hakyeon couldn’t even hazard a guess at the last time Wonshik could possibly have had his dick sucked (if he had ever had it sucked at all), but the extremely obvious tent in his sweatpants was all the tell he needed that Wonshik wanted this.

Still, he felt it was necessary to ask, “Do you want this?” Wonshik let out a long, shaky breath, squeezing his eyes shut.

“Yes,” Wonshik answered, this time more confidently than before. “God, I want this.”

Hakyeon hooked his fingers into the waistband of Wonshik’s sweatpants and began to tug at them, slowly sliding them down. He let them rest at Wonshik’s ankles and then gripped the waistband of Wonshik’s boxers. Hakyeon hesitated for a moment, allowing the thought of _Jesus CHRIST what am I doing right now? What the hell happened that could have possibly led me to this moment?_ to run through his mind. With a quiet deep breath of his own, he pushed the thought away and pulled Wonshik’s boxers down, freeing his cock. Wonshik’s cock was already fully hard and leaking and Wonshik’s face turned beet red at being exposed so fully.

Chasing the breathlessness out of his voice at the sudden sight of Kim Wonshik’s cock in his face, Hakyeon said, as sensually as he could muster, “Don’t close your eyes. I want you to know that it’s me.”

Slowly, and with effort, Wonshik opened his eyes. Hakyeon met his gaze with an intense eye contact, and he could only imagine the view Wonshik had. It must have been quite a sight, for Wonshik’s face was all shades of red and he was shaking slightly.

Without another moment of hesitation, Hakyeon slowly wrapped his fingers around Wonshik’s cock— feeling Wonshik jolt at the sudden new sensation— and took just the head into his mouth, all the while looking Wonshik right in the eyes. Wonshik let out a stuttering moan the moment his cock made first contact with Hakyeon’s mouth and Hakyeon’s own cock twitched in response. He sucked the head lightly and licked at the underside, pleased at the way Wonshik’s hips bucked up slightly from his sensitivity.

Hakyeon began to twist the hand that was still around Wonshik’s cock slowly, taking a bit more of Wonshik into his mouth. He hummed slightly around Wonshik’s cock, pulling quite a loud moan out of Wonshik. With his other hand, Hakyeon reached up and grabbed one of Wonshik’s wrists. Pulling carefully, he guided Wonshik’s hand to the back of his head, allowing Wonshik’s fingers to grip at his hair. He then removed his hand from Wonshik’s cock and slid his mouth down further, hollowing his cheeks and sucking (with expertise, if Hakyeon didn’t say so himself). The grip on Hakyeon’s hair tightened and Hakyeon let out a muffled moan. Keeping control, Hakyeon slid his mouth up and down Wonshik’s cock, each time sliding a bit lower until he could feel it nearing the back of his throat. Wonshik let out a choked noise at that, and his muscles began to tense. Hakyeon sensed what was coming, and also sensed that Wonshik was entirely too blissed out and confused to warn Hakyeon.

Hakyeon pulled back slightly as Wonshik came with a loud yell. With determination— and memories of the times he’d practiced— Hakyeon swallowed every last drop. He sucked gently as Wonshik leaned backwards onto the table, breathing heavily, before pulling his mouth off completely and wiping his lips. A heavy silence hung in the studio, filled only with Wonshik’s panting.

After a moment, Wonshik finally managed, “Fuck. I mean...I... _fuck_ , Hakyeon.” Hakyeon couldn’t stop the satisfied grin from spreading across his face. He was quite proud of himself, and he knew Wonshik was completely blissed out...but he also had his own problem. Half of Hakyeon desperately hoped Wonshik would quickly notice that his cock was still painfully hard, and the other half expected that he’d have to take care of it himself later.

Sure enough, Wonshik noticed.

“Hyung, you...your...” Wonshik pointed feebly at Hakyeon’s noticeable bulge. For some unknown reason, Hakyeon’s cheeks went red. He had just had Wonshik’s dick in his mouth, there was really no reason to be embarrassed. In spite of everything, though, Hakyeon still had a shred of self-consciousness.

“It’s fine, Wonshikkie!” Hakyeon said quickly, rising to his feet, grimacing a bit at how hard he was, but hiding it swiftly. “I don’t expect you to do the same thing at all! There’s no way I would force you-“

“I,” Wonshik cut Hakyeon off. “Want to try something. I want to make you feel good too. I’ll do what I know.” With that, Wonshik grabbed Hakyeon by the wrist and pulled him close until their bodies were nearly flush against each other. Hakyeon felt his heart race at Wonshik’s sudden boldness. With one hand against Hakyeon’s lower back, Wonshik slid the other hand down Hakyeon’s pants. His fingertips brushed the head of Hakyeon’s cock and Hakyeon threw his head back and moaned at the sudden contact. Wonshik’s fingers began to smear precum down Hakyeon’s cock, sliding and twisting in a way that must have felt familiar to Wonshik, yet so, so new. Hakyeon’s brain immediately supplied that this must be the way that Wonshik liked to touch himself. The thought turned Hakyeon on even more, imagining Wonshik alone, moaning aloud as he touched himself, hand sliding just the way that he knew felt good.

And _god_ did it feel good. Hakyeon’s head dropped to Wonshik’s shoulder, hands leaning on the table behind Wonshik for support. He knew he wasn’t going to last much longer.

Hakyeon came with one last breathy moan. Wonshik continued to stroke him a bit longer than necessary, and Hakyeon reached into his pants and pulled Wonshik’s hand away. (He also filed that little piece of information away for later.)

Wonshik walked over to the cabinet and pulled out a wet wipe to clean his hand off, allowing Hakyeon to recover. His thoughts were finally beginning to catch up with him. This had either been the best decision he’d ever made, or the worst mistake of his life.

Hakyeon sensed Wonshik beside him, and he glanced up to see Wonshik sitting up on the table. With a deep sigh, Hakyeon stretched out his back before joining him. He felt a bit gross for not fully cleaning himself up yet, but he decided that that could wait.

“Hyung...” Wonshik began. “Where the _hell_ did you learn to do something like that?!” Hakyeon let out a loud laugh at that.

“You see, when I was in Japan...” he let his own words trail off into a laugh even before Wonshik was wildly waving his hands and begging him to spare him the details.

After a moment, Hakyeon’s laughter faded away and a silence hung between them; not as heavy as the last, but with a different sort of heaviness. A definite question hung in the air, waiting to be asked.

“What does this mean for us, hyung?” Wonshik whispered. There was no need to whisper, but Hakyeon knew the severity of the question made it seem like it needed to be whispered.

“I don’t know,” Hakyeon answered lightly. “It doesn’t have to mean anything yet. But you should know that this wasn’t a pity suck. I do like you.” Hakyeon made eye contact with Wonshik as he spoke, and Wonshik went bright red at Hakyeon’s blunt words. He avoided Hakyeon’s gaze, cheeks rosy.

“I’m willing to take...whatever this is...slowly,” Hakyeon assured him. Wonshik nodded, eyes still focused downwards. Hakyeon placed a gentle hand on his cheek. After a moment, Wonshik covered it with his own, holding it there.

“So who’s the winner?” Wonshik had mumbled his words so quietly that Hakyeon almost hadn’t caught it.

“What?”

“The game,” Wonshik clarified a little louder. “We said the loser would buy the winner a gift.”

The game. The damn game.

“I don’t think this is about a loser and a winner anymore,” Hakyeon said drily, launching himself off the table. “Come on, Shikkie. You need some sleep.”

“I just wanted a gift,” Wonshik complained, sliding lazily off the table.

“I _am_ the gift,” Hakyeon argued. Wonshik snorted, but he slipped his hand into Hakyeon’s hand in a way that said he agreed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you to everyone who stuck with this little story! I apologize for taking so long with the last chapter, but I hope you all enjoyed it ❤︎ leave comments if you liked it and scream with me about vixx on twitter @tinyhakyeon


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